I know I said I would blog yesterday for my Marian Monday post but alas, I did not. I've been overwhelmed with different emotions. I'm finally coming down to the end of our 8 months deployment/unaccompanied tour and our next move is fast approaching. I should be happy, but rather I am just thoroughly exhausted. I'm excited for our family to be together, but I am also currently tired and in desperate need of a break. I'm thrilled to be in a new home, but we currently still live in the middle of nowhere in which I am desperately trying to prepare for the move (as far as paperwork is concerned and not the packing part). I hope to have a regular babysitter again, but I still need help from time to time right now (I have gone through 11 different babysitters due to moving, new jobs, college schedules, etc.) People say that they are "here if I need them" but the same people have also been inconsistent and unreliable or even worse perhaps expect too much out of me in return. It seems like all of my positive influences and community are a far commute, and all the negativity and nay-sayers are in my immediate surroundings (Don't always believe what you see on "Army Wives").
Maybe this Lent is just another one of God's ways of having me depend on Him. It's been a lonely journey with little community. All I want is for our family to be together in a positive, healthy, and faithful environment and I don't know why that has been so hard to attain this past year.
I wish I could close this post with some sort of conclusion but I think the only thing I have is that I need prayers. Prayers for rejuvenation, prayers for hope, prayers against discouragement.