There has definitely been a bit of a lag in my blogging these last several days. My mind has been so scattered that I haven't been able to concentrate on too much else outside the home. So, if I haven't responded to any emails, comments, phone calls, etc., I promise that it is not on purpose.
Given the nature of why my family is in this situation in the first place, I have questioned sometimes if God may be punishing me or if I have any unfinished penance in direct effect of my past. My logic tells me that isn't true, my heart thinks otherwise. There have been many times where I have felt unable to approach the Lord - whether it be out of fear or even anger. Or even worse, sometimes I am just so exhausted that there are days where I can just be filled with plain apathy.
I understand a little better now why many Saints approach Our Lady as their trusted intercessor. St. Gemma Galgani once said, "You must make peace between Jesus and me ". We never know Mary to be angry. We never hear or speak of "Mary's wrath" or "Mary's justice", because all of that belongs to God. We only hear of her unending love and mercy for God's children and her desire to draw us near to her Son.
|Photo by Tori Ryan Photography|
I am not saying that God's Love & Mercy isn't infinite, but what I am saying is that this has been my struggle. With this current hesitation to approach the Cross during this season of my life, I have felt that I could only approach Mary because at least I know that she sits at the foot of that Cross and always intercedes and advocates on our behalf. So again, I don't know what will happen here shortly, but at least I am confident that her hand is one of gentleness and peace, guiding us always to God, whether we realize it or not.
The Feast Day of Our Lady of Lourdes is coming up... the day when the Sainthood of my Patron (st Bernadette) was made evident to the world. Maybe if I can discipline myself (yup, sadly, I suck at Novenas particularly since I have had children), I can make a heavenly petition on our behalf. If not, please pray for us and for me.
Mary, Refuge of Sinners, ora pro nobis.